Love's perpetual motion

The tick of the clock pounds violently in her ears

As time washes away another of love’s tears.

But forgotten, Is it? Or is it some sort of dream gone astray?

For true love is never forgotten but only learned to live away.

As the clock pounds forward and ticks in a tedious motion,

Will the embrace of love be an equally perpetual emotion?

Or in some sort of trance it unwittingly disappears?

Or perhaps it bites back even after endless years. 

This poem has been replaying in my mind all day, particularly the line "for true love is never forgotten but only learned to live away." 

Perhaps we all question our failed relationships and have a ping of remorse. I can name three men that still can cause me physical pain when I happen to stumble over a memory.

Was that true love? Is that why my heart still flutters when I think about a kiss or a touch? I don't know, honestly I could have been happy with any of the three at the time, but something was missing. With each person I date, I get closer and closer to my idea of an ideal mate. 

So why dwell on the past? This isn't a simple answer; often we can't control what memories pop into our heads. Dreams can arise things that have been suppressed for years. I believe it is the brains way of telling us that something is wrong, whether in the way things ended, or in our lives.  

Rarely do we get the answers we are looking for after a break up. It can leave things feeling incomplete and empty. Maybe we all need that definite closure... the battle that ends the war. If this is the case, open your eyes wider. The answers are always there, you just want different ones. Look at things how you would if your friend were going through them, the answers would be clear for you. 

Memories are meant to be looked back on, if not what would be their purpose? Perhaps we replay these fleeting scenes because the emotions they evoke are so wonderful that they imprint in our hearts forever. That is fine, but why look to the past to feel happiness? Maybe that is your minds way of telling you that you are missing something in your life that only you can fill. If they were your true loves, you wouldn't have to rely on memories, you would be together making new ones. 

So what is true love?  I believe that I could undoubtedly fall in love a dozen times, so how do you know which one is the "true one?"Can your true love be absolutely wrong for you? Well yes, he can! If you are going to base love off of attraction, you are not going to hit the lottery, but you might have some crazy passion. 

I think that a person can have several "true loves". If you think about it, you are always changing, through each stage of life you are going to be looking for something different. At 23, you might just be looking for crazy love, all logic gets thrown out the window. At 30, you might want a guy with a boomin' bank account, and at 65 you might just want someone to keep you company. Love, money, companionship.. that is what they say! 

You meet a million people of the opposite sex in your lifetime,You just have to pick one and not worry if there is someone better, because that is how you end up fucking shit up. Ideally, pick one that is your friend and grows with you (this is dumb luck). Some people just pick one and stick it out... (That is just dumb.) Then there are the ones that keep picking new ones... those people are egocentric (they end up alone). Then there are the ones that are able to be honest with themselves. (These people have self-esteem) 

So why has that poem been replaying in my mind? Well, because when I love someone, it is hard for me to stop loving at least part of them, even if it isn't healthy. Also, I feel like I have a lot of love to give, and sometimes it overpowers me, but I am not in the place to give love to anyone but myself, even though sometimes the loneliness does creep in.