History Repeats Itself

In an ideal world, we would learn our lesson the first time we make a mistake. Not all of us our blessed with this will power. Some of us, me personally, need to have a few more blows until we finally move on and say, "enough is enough."

Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships many find themselves falling back into the same patterns, and nothing is ever learned. Instead, the warning signs are dismissed as we bask in the bliss of a new relationship. Everything goes beautifully for a while, until... it doesn't. Then, the blindfold is removed and you realize that you just dated the same guy or girl, again. 

For me, history has repeated itself a plethora of times. Each time, the relationship starts off too romantic for words. The love is so overpowering, that you feel as if your heart is a volcano ready to erupt at any moment. Slowly, the heat starts to dwindle, the temperate drops and I am left freezing. Crack, another guy just cracked my heart with an ice pick.  

Why do so many of us find ourselves falling for the same person over and over again? There are billions of men and women out there yet I have already dated the same guy three times... what are the odds? 

Do you find yourself dismissing the seemingly gentleman for a guy that is always a bit out of reach? Do you love the girls that drive you mad with jealousy, when you have a sweet girl next door that is dying to love you? 

Are all of our repeated endeavors a sign that we just aren't ready to commit, or is there something else going on here that we cannot explain?

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same," Catherine Earnshaw uttered as she confessed her unremitting love for Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. Although her suiter, Edgar Linton was intelligent, rich, the ideal mate, she could not quite understand why she could not love him like the dark Heathcliffe. 

She denied herself powerful love when she went against nature's course, marrying Linton. 

She also welcomed eternal heartbreak and suffering. 

That quote says everything about love and life, we continue to love the same men and women because something inside us is the same, no matter how much you want to deny it, how much you want to hate the other person. Whatever their soul is made of, your internal self is more similar than you want to admit. 

Then why don't you end up with your first Zach, or Derek, Alicia or Katie? 

Well, I believe that destiny and the supernatural can only take a person so far. You have to go into a relationship with logic and experience as well. My first Zach, I was too naive to realize why our souls connected at such an intense level. What I thought was love, was in fact manipulation. We shared a strong spiritual bond, but our values we too contradictory to really establish a lasting bond. 

The second Zach, well... I should have noticed the signs right away. Love is patient, love is kind, but unfortunately, love is blind. 

Presently, my soul is swimming, the world has stopped, the lava is bubbling and I am ready to pop. Sorry, I really had to rhyme.

He is nothing like the two previous but I can't deny that there are some similarities. He seems to posses all of the best qualities of the former two. It is eerie how it works, that a soul can be the same, but it is true and you cannot deny it. 

Why else do we dismiss men and women that seem so perfect? What one might call chemistry, I call destiny. 

So my advice to the men and women that seem to date the same person despite their better judgement, stop blaming yourself and start embracing love and learning from it. One day you will find yourself falling in love with someone that is perfect for you because you are smart enough to know how to really love. 

Never give up on love.