It must have been the roses

There is a Grateful Dead song that I have always felt especially drawn to, the lyrics specifically. I remember reading the lyrics for the first time, it was probably four years ago; it was a facebook status of my deadhead friend, Wes :) The lyrics reminded me of swimming for some reason, swimming through life, everything kind of flowing together, just living, not trying to fight the inevitable. It is a simple song, but the simplicity is what I find beautiful. There is so much love poured into the words. It was one moment in time that someone felt so much passion for another person, that it never left his mind.

Recently that song has been coming to my mind, because I understand how one simple moment in time can replay forever and change you. A simple moment can change you more than a colossal, life shaking one. Most of us have had a "life changing experience;" I have had several in the last few years. These moments leave that feeling inside you, where you feel like you are in control and can do anything. That feeling always fades, you have to be constantly kicked in the butt to really change. It is those brief moments, wisps of time that will pass you by if you aren't paying attention, that can really alter something in your soul. Those are the things you hold onto, the little things, and they will grow into something bigger.

After listening to that song, I sort of developed a love for roses, not particularly the flower, but the symbolism behind a rose. They represent so much, love, friendship, brightness, longing, death. I guess they have become a bit cliche, but there is just something mesmerizing about something that evokes such pleasure, but can cause so much pain at the same time.

I have been very intuned to the world around me lately, because one of those moments happened to me that made me realize that I wasn't really paying attention to the world around me. I was letting it pass my by, and I was letting others take pieces from me. I know now where I belong, and it's not here, not with people that try to steal my crimson.  I kind of just want to be alone for a while, somewhere where no one knows me. Maybe then, someone will find me and remember me for something small, and hold onto it forever.