Happy Birthday To Me

I am now 23, which feels a lot older than 22... I can't believe I am 23 because I feel so young! I had a great birthday, it was very relaxing today. It was exactly what I wanted. With every birthday I have, I like to think about the things that I want to change that year, or kind of re-hatch the lessons that I have learned, comparing it to the previous year. This year was different because it was the first year I have been single for my birthday! I know... such a huge deal, but it is because I was very spoiled in the past, and this year I didn't really have anyone obsessing over my birthday, which is not bad, just different! Today was kind of emotional because of that, just because everything is so different from last year, but it is a good thing, because with everything I learn so much!

Anyway, here are some of the lessons that I have learned this year:

 I wish I could have been around all of my friends and family, but I am just not in that place right now, I wish I were. Family, that is really the most important thing, and I have been looking and looking for family for a long time, when I realize I just need to fix the family that I already have. This is going to be hard, just because I live with my parents, and every move I make pisses them off. You can't be an adult with parents that want you to be their little girl, he just doesn't happen. So this year, hopefully in the next few weeks (keeping my fingers crossed) I will be moving out. Then I can just visit them and keep them updated with my life, with out letting them see how crazy it can really be!

I realized that I am too nice of a person, as in I let people walk all over me because I never want to make others' feel bad. This is shitty, I need to stop trusting everyone. Because I really do trust everyone... it's kind of a problem because I build people up to be masterpieces when they are really just blobs on a canvas... I need to stop looking at people through a foggy window...

Another thing is that I need to stop spending money on bull shit, I really have a problem, it is not fun to me anymore. I want to throw out all of my shit... if anyone wants clothing or anything, come take mine because it will be going to the good will.

I want to try as many new experiences this year as I can. This includes sky diving, back packing, taking time off work to travel, cooking new things. I want to make the best of every situation, so right now I am stuck in PA working at Supportive, so I better help create a positive change then!

I am rambling, but I am really into this blogging thing, It will be nice to see my progress (hopefully progress and not regression)

I am doing me, I am so happy that I can honestly say I am doing me and there is not a rebound or someone to fall back on. I am a totally different person from last year. I am just slowly getting my shit together and figuring out what I love and who I love. Life is good!

Watch my video, I am a clown! Don't hate